The Kindest thing

Life is amazing. It is a miracle that we all take for granted every day.

Life is everywhere we look. Yet unbelievably fragile. We have not had much experience of just how fragile until recently.

All our pets had lived into old age so the death of a dog at under 2 years old is completely unbearably heartbreaking.

Oddjob quickly deteriorated with not being able to move properly, falling into his food bowl and on the last day not even wanting to eat and shaking non stop. He was soothed by me just laying beside him and stroking him very gently so that is what happened most of the day and night until we went into the vet and those words were uttered.

He was released from pain and his body resumed the usual form which made it even more apparent how out of sorts he had been.

I took him home and he has a special place in the garden as he has in our hearts.

Rhyme tried to lick him back to life and couldn't understand initially but he hasn't pined for him so hopefully he did. They were always together and Rhyme took such care of him.

We still don't have a full diagnosis of whether he had a glioma or just an abscess all we know is that something was inflamed in his brain that caused him pain and he wasn't able to use his body properly.

We naturally wonder what went wrong and how such a thing can happen. We think need to know answers to avoid this happening again.

But to be honest what we really, really want is to have our happy, full of fun and vitality, boy back. To hear snorting and snoring, to have to take shorter strides, to have 6 food bowls again and to get well and truly puggled.

My thoughts are he has work to do else where to help somebody that needs cheering up.

We have very lucky lives and although it is incredibly sad to lose him we were at least lucky enough to have shared part of his way too short life.

So this blog is no longer active. I'll just
leave you with a poem I wrote for him.


Why doesn't even begin to answer all the pain

When things don't make sense but we ask it again & again
What could have been changed so you wouldn't die
Who decided it was time to say goodbye
So many questions but the answers won't mend
All the heartbreak felt by your premature end
Whatever the reason whatever the blame
Having loved & lost you our lives will never be the same

Difficult Diagnosis

Well what a horrible, horrible time we have been having emotionally regarding Oddjob. Not knowing if we would need to make that decision that all dog owners find themselves having to make. Hard enough when it comes to an old dog like Flint but in youngsters.....

Mark has had enough on his plate - he does love a full plate, but sometimes it leaves little room for manoeuvre.

He has had to make some tough decisions made harder by the great dogs and partnership he has amongst the Team GB squad. He has also commenced a new project in his day job.

He spent the day last Tuesday taking Oddjob into the referral centre with me and waiting for the MRI scan results. As many of you know my day job is supporting Mark :) Not everyone knows it is definitely two way traffic.

Oddjob is often seen as my dog but he is just as much Mark's so you can imagine the emotional turmoil we have been in all this last couple of weeks. The visit yesterday (again Mark rearranged his work day to attend the vets) has still not really answered all the questions and we now have 2 possible causes of his illness.

We will get copies of his scans meanwhile here are examples of the 2 different options - Glioma or Abscess as you can see they are very similar (try to ignore the size just look at their appearance)

One way to possibly find out for sure is to drill a hole in his brain and drain a bit of fluid from his cyst. That test would let us know if he has a brain tumour which would be a very sad thing.

The other possibility is a abscess which will be treatable with drugs although this may be costly and take a while we are hopeful this is the correct diagnosis.

The scans are going off for more opinions as we do not want his head drilled and we have drugs for him to have for a while.

Meanwhile let us enjoy life while he wants to. Since doing the Ultimate Agility Foundation online course he believes that we need to do some kind of training each day. When he was so off colour I thought it would be better to keep him in quieter situations with just walks out and about. Now both his spirits and probably mine to be honest are better we do not want to waste a day :)

Obviously with his limbs going in all the wrong directions moving forward with any agility equipment training is out of the question but he can still do puppy proprioception exercises and basics like recalls and hand touches.

He was so happy and I thought it may be worth recording his ability to achieve movement related tasks as it will help track if he is getting better or not.

It is very easy to watch for good things when you think your dog may be ill to prove that they are getting better so a subjective look may be more helpful to the vet.

Also Flint (yes he is still here and still getting special treatment as "we don't know how much longer we have with him" 18 months on :)
seems to thrive on life. Due to all that has happened with house move etc although he gets special time, he also has to muck in with the others. New experiences, being out and about and even going to shows seem to invigorate him and have kept him going even though he is so thin that if he looses any more weight he will become 2 dimensional.

Getting Oddjob to preform tasks usually involves an opportunity for him to earn treats which is his main reason for being so I aim to keep giving him reason.

List of actions and current ability
Sit - achievable but can't maintain
Down - can do and maintain
Hand target - no problem
Walking beside me in a straight line - will need to measure but just about provided loads of treats keep head forward
Walking from back gate to field without spinning - really tries and can make it if he runs after other dogs
Recall - does at a run and maintains forward momentum
Front feet on a box - can do and maintain I had not done this for a while as I think he would have knuckled over so I think this is progress
Get off box with OK release cue - good understanding of cue and how to do it physically
Walking though a short ladder - again only did this yesterday as I don't think it would have worked to do it when he was poorly poorly so I think this also points to a progression.
Lured left and right turns - I don't really like luring but due to his natural spin to the right which he will do if over excited (not sure if related to his current condition or due to being with his breeder until 10 months old) the guaranteed way to see if he can turn is to lure. He turns comfortably both ways.

I think monitoring these will give me good indications of his progress along with giving him some fun and maintaining his ability to move.

As far as his drugs are concerned I love this How to give a dog a pill

In fact as far as Oddjob is concerned even the bacon is not required :)

Devastating News

What a difficult post to write.

Oddjob is an amazing dog. He has fitted in so well with our lives and our other dogs.

Rhyme thinks Oddjob is his own toy to wash and fuss over. Oddjob thinks Rhyme is his own personal groomer.

Flint has also taken to him and licks his left ear, although with what we have now found out is actually a bit weird.

Torro, Devo and Kodi all accept being pug nipped if they are trying to get attention from me at the same time as he wants it. Torro especially surprises me with this.

I had even started teaching him some agility basics and he is so willing to learn and loves trying.

It is hilarious that even though the majority of the time he follows me like a shadow he will stop up the field after training and not want to come back in. Both Rhyme and Kodi often tried doing this so we naturally thought it a collie trait. It really shows what an independent character he is.

Everyone of our friends, previous pug fans or not, have fallen in love with him in a very short space of time.

It doesn't seem like he has only been with us since June last year. He was 10 months when we got him so he is only 17 months yet he seems to have been part of our lives forever.

We noticed he was knuckling over on his front right leg, this then progressed to his left and his circling became more of a problem. His gait was not right either.

I had him booked in our new vets for the Tuesday after Easter and was even more concerned there when we noticed his nail beds were bleeding. Some people had had experience of a nail bed infection and this would have made him uncomfortable.

I researched nail bed infections and treatment was not too bad and recovery was good.

At the vets he spun and tripped and looked very ungainly. He will stop spinning if I ask him to sit so I can usually stop it. The vet wanted to let him keep doing it. It was very sad to watch and I started to worry.

After a thorough check the vet recommended an MRI scan as she was concerned of a spinal injury in his neck or a neurological problem.

Alarm bells rang and panic set in :(

Off to the internet - a good and not so good source of information.

There is a pug disorder called PDE which is found only in pugs and causes inflammation of the brain and is not pleasant.

Pugs can also get the same problem as Cavaliers where they have fluid on the brain and the brain pushes on the skull. Painful and debilitating.

Twisted tails are actually a deformity of the vertebrae and if the same deformity occurs in the neck then the spinal cord can get trapped and damaged.

So many worrying things to think of. The main worry was his unpug like lack of happiness. His willingness to be part of everything was the same which was sad as the stumbling became worse and he also flicked his hind right leg out too.

Tuesday was the day of the scan. We went to East Midland Referrals and saw Graham Oliver. He was very professional and even he had to smile when Oddob delivered a well timed pug snort right at his face. The vet nurse came in to collect him and Oddjob turned the full force of his charms on her. She mouthed "I love him" at me whilst Graham was explaining everything.

There was a long list of possibilities many of which were treatable so we left with a better outlook after so many thoughts of heartbreak over the weekend.

When we picked him up he didn't want to wake up and was shaking uncontrollably which was very distressing.

Graham showed us the scans. He had taken quite a few and was very thorough in explaining them to us.

The scans showed a large cyst at the base of his brain that looked like it had been there a while and was not inflamed, a small round possible cyst that had an area of inflammation around it and inflammation of the spinal cord just below his brain which could have been a result of either of the cysts.

Graham took blood tests and some fluid from his brain to be sent off for testing and also sent copies of the scans off to a couple of places for further opinions.

We have drugs for him to take for now to treat the inflammations and are going back again tomorrow for the results and details of how we will treat him.

He was quiet on Wednesday but came out on Thursday with the others when I was setting up the agility equipment. He must have been feeling a lot better as he decided to walk up the dog walk to get my attention. He certainly got that as I ran across to stop him falling although I don't think if would have. He was obviously pleased with this reaction as although I carried him away from it before I put him down he waited until I was moving the tunnel and run up it again. Mischievous little monkey - glad he has got his spirit back for now.

I am in between thinking hurray the drugs are working and he will get back to normal and then moments of tears when I wonder how he can recover from 3 things and we may loose him.

So everything possible crossed for a good visit tomorrow and meanwhile lots of puggles.